Offseason Hot Stove

HA!

The only thing on the Blue Jays Offseason Stove is a week old half eaten can of baked beans. What's that putrid smell you ask? No, it's not the remnants of the beans wreaking havoc with your bowels, its the foul stench of losing your #2 starter, and saviour, A.J. Burnett to everyone's favourite nemesis, the NEW YORK YANKEES!

Well thank god Allan James was New York's prize addition this offseason. Phew!! Wait... what's that? Sabathia too?? FOR HOW MUCH?! Son of a b*#@^!! Well at least they weren't able to improve their offence. Ok, enough with the drama. We all know the Yankees wheeled to acquire Nick Swisher from the Chisox and blew both the Angels and the Red Sox away by signing 1B Mark Teixeira to a ludicrous contract extension, to fill the emotional and physical void left by Jason Giambi (another Yankees signing that drove baseball fans absolutely nuts). Am I the only one who finds it slightly ironic that it was Oakland of all teams who landed Giambi after the Yankees showed him the door?

Anyway, back to the Jays.. the hell with the Yankees. What have my prized blue birds accomplished this offseason? To be honest the only thing of any importance was the tragic passing of team owner Ted Rogers on December 2nd. As a Ryerson graduate of the Ted Rogers School of Management, I have deep respect for the man for his contributions in the community and to the Toronto Blue Jays. He will be sorely missed. Does anyone besides me think that Ted would have allowed J.P. to reallocate the money saved on Burnett to lure in the best possible free agent acquisition the Jays could have made? How does a leadoff hitter sound. Oh wait, what about a shortstop who actually knows how to hit? Or how about an excellent base stealer? OR, how about we solve all three of those problems with one name?

Rafael Furcal.

'Nuff said.

Sorry Michael Barrett. No disrespect Matt Clement. Mike Maroth? Raul Chavez? Who?? Are any of you gonna help this team in any way??